


you're here so far away

by kneedeepsnow



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), 여자친구 | GFriend (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Multi, another addition to my diverse repertoire, this isn't exactly a babyfic but oh boy there are babies, weddings and babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 06:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15790815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kneedeepsnow/pseuds/kneedeepsnow
Summary: the growing pains of a relationship that is not new but not yet old





	you're here so far away

“She’s so tiny,”

 

“I know right, Seungcheol’s been running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.” Jeonghan sighs and rubs the back of the sleeping baby on Joshua’s chest.

 

“I knew babies were tiny but I didn’t remember how tiny. She’s so tiny, Jeonghan-ah.” Joshua half-whines, eyes counting every tiny hair on her head.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t visit you guys in the hospital–” Joshua starts, cut off as the baby begins to squirm in his arms.

 

“Oh are you fussing, Yena-ya? Do I have to make Seungcheollie change you?” Jeonghan coos as he reaches for his daughter. “It’s really okay Jisoo, you were in the states and you didn’t miss much. She literally just sleeps and eats.”

 

“I still should have been there.” Joshua goes quiet as the baby fusses, momentarily distracted by the fact that Jeonghan is a _father_ and this is his _job_ now.  “How are you guys doing? Aside from Seungcheol running around with his head cut off?” Josh asks Jeonghan, who’s now standing and slowly bouncing Yena, preemptively soothing any crying.

 

“I think we’re mostly relieved. And happy. She’s here and she’s healthy and there’s no drama with the adoption. There was nothing else we could really ask for.” Jeonghan considers as he softly bounces in place. “I mean, Seungcheol’s parents annoyed the shit out of me while they were here. If I could have asked them to stop comparing us to Seungcheol’s brother and his wife I would have.”

 

“That’s not very kind to your in-laws, Jeonghan-ah.” Joshua teases gently.

 

“I’ll have you know I didn’t even do anything about it,” Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “I didn’t even make fun of Cheol when he took twenty minutes to collapse the stroller in the hallway. It was hilarious too. When are you and Hansol gonna have a baby so I can make fun of you instead?”

 

“We’re not quite there yet but,” Josh laughs and sighs. The subject had never exactly been approached, but from Joshua’s point of view it might as well have. Subtle hints that they move in together had flown completely over Hansol’s head. After six months Joshua had to make things more explicit.  “Do you ever feel like you and Seungcheol are out of sync?”

 

“I guess sometimes? Like he definitely wanted to get married before we had even been dating for a whole year and I was definitely not there yet then. Why?”

 

“I don’t know. Sometimes I just feel like Hansol and I are going nowhere. I’m thirty, I need a destination.” Josh inches back into the couch and shrugs. It wasn’t exactly the truth but it was close enough to it. There was just something so fundamentally unsettling about telling Hansol everything he wanted. Just a buzzing anxiety in the back of his head telling him it was pointless and never going to happen anyways.

 

Jeonghan shifts his weight and readjusts Yena in his arms, her cries small and steady. “Jisoo,” he starts and stops, Yena still restless in his arms. “I’m sorry, I want to help you but –”

 

“It’s hard.” Josh finishes for him. “I get it though, my problems are a little less significant in comparison.”

 

“It’s not even that, Jisoo. You need to talk to Hansol.” The tone of his voice finally matches the slump of his shoulders, exhausted. “The past month of has been the most stressful of my life,” he takes another breath, “and I love it, and I love her. But I just want you to be prepared. The day they handed her to us wasn’t a _destination.”_

 

“I’m sorry Han–”

 

“Don’t be Jisoo, fuck, it’s not your fault.” Jeonghan shakes out a laugh.

 

“Stop swearing in front of the baby.” Seungcheol scolds from the kitchen doorway, bottle of formula in hand.

 

“Yena, is that Appa? Did Appa bring you lunch?” Jeonghan hums to the baby in the crook of his neck ignoring what his husband said. He quickly hands off Yena – who is now wailing in earnest – to Seungcheol easily in one arm.

 

“Oh! Josh, do you want to feed her?” Seungcheol asks expectantly.

 

“Okay,” Joshua agrees hesitantly, taking a wriggling Yena back into his arms. For all of 5 seconds everything overwhelms Joshua. Seungcheol and Jeonghan asking him to be Yena’s guardian – over Seungcheol’s brother and Jeonghan’s sister – three weeks ago. Being asked to ‘take more responsibility overseas’ at work. Hansol’s tired gaze through his fringe across the bed they share. All of it disappears as soon as Yena’s silent and looking up at him.

 

* * *

 

 

“How was Jeonghan hyung and Seungcheol hyung’s?” Hansol asks from the kitchen, straining his neck to look down the hallway as Joshua takes off his shoes.

 

“Really really good,” Joshua says as he makes his way into the kitchen, setting his chin onto Hansol’s shoulder, “Yena’s such a good baby.”

 

“I’m glad you think so,” Hansol laughs, “Did you end up giving them an answer about guardianship?”

 

“I did. I’m gonna do it.” There’s a tension in Joshua’s breath, in the weight on his back, “I’m going to say no to the LA promotion.”

 

“Really hyung?” he turns in Joshua’s arms, a pair of hands now at the small of Hansol’s back.

 

“It would be too much.” Joshua swallows, “I’d miss you too much.”

 

Hansol blushes, flustered.

 

“There was something I wanted to talk to you about though. But it is a little overdramatic for 4 in the afternoon.”

 

“What’s up?” Pure curiosity takes over his face entirely, no mistaking it. Hansol’s expressions are so genuine they’re cute.

 

“I think – with me staying permanently – we should start making plans.” Josh lets it hang in the air.

 

Somehow Hansol still has room to look further surprised. “What kind of plans?”

 

“Plans for us. Our Plans.” Joshua moves his hands to rest on Hansol’s hips and gently tilts his head.

 

Something about this has caught Hansol entirely off guard, his hands quietly fidgeting with the button cuffs of Joshua’s sleeves at his hips.

 

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” Josh takes two steps backwards and folds his arms low on his chest. “Where do you see us in five years?”

 

* * *

 

“So how are you and Jisoo?” Seokmin asks, leaning beside Hansol on a shaded bench. The park is quiet aside from the occasional shrieks and giggles from Yuna and Seokmin’s son running around on the playground. When Hansol glances up he sees Jaemin in Yuna’s arms as he pretends to go across the monkey bars.

 

“Good. Things are always good when Josh’s home.” A smile hints at the corner of Hansol’s mouth as he nods to himself. “I mean, we kinda got into a fight last night, but I don’t know if I would call it a fight.”

 

“What wouldn’t you call a fight?” Seokmin laughs.

 

“We were just talking,” Hansol shrugs, “Josh asked me where I see us five years from now.”

 

“And?”

 

“I told him I don’t know,” Hansol drops his head into his hands, rubbing small circles into his eyes, “I really don’t know, hyung. I’ve spent the past five years focusing on getting my masters, I never really thought about after that.”

 

Seokmin laughs loudly and smiles, Hansol only rolls his eyes. “What about you, hyung? Where do you want to be in five years?” The question comes out as more of a taunt than anything else.

 

Still, Seokmin stops to consider it, pursing his lips before replying, “Well, Jaemin will be in elementary school, so maybe we’ll have a bigger apartment. Maybe we’ll have another baby.” Seokmin smiles a contemplative smile, as if just the thought had completely brightened his day, but he takes a breath and continues. “I’d like to be making music again. Yuna, too. I want her out of her office job, she hates it.”

 

Hansol groans and rolls his head back, lolling on the back of the bench. The trees in Yuna and Seokmin’s neighbourhood are older than the ones in Hansol and Jisoo’s, their leaves and branches more dense.

 

They spend a couple minutes in silence, Seokmin’s eyes glued to his son on the playground, Hansol still staring up at the leaves.

 

“I don’t know what I want. I can’t just tell Josh what I want if I don’t even know.” Hansol sounds exasperated. “I still can’t believe he’s staying. So much of our relationship has been back and forth.”

 

“Well let’s put it in perspective,” Seokmin leans forward, “when I was twenty-four my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. Within a month she was my wife and now we have a four year old. You don’t get to pick what you get, Hansol.” From anyone else that line would be cutting and bitter, but from Seokmin it’s sheer fondness.

 

“You have a boyfriend who wants to spend the rest of his life with you. He wants to be here. Sometimes you’re not going to be ready for things.” Seokmin settles back into the bench smiling at Hansol, before he’s distracted by Yuna walking towards them.

 

“Your son is requesting that you push him on the swing. Apparently I do it wrong.” Yuna pouts from the edge of the gravel, arms folded over her chest. Seokmin nearly leaps up, and in three bounds he’s got his arms around Yuna’s shoulders.

 

“Is that so?” His smile is about as taunting as he could possibly make it, which is not at all. Yuna hums in response before kissing him gently, swiftly untangling herself from his arms, and nearly sauntering over to take his spot beside Hansol.

 

“Duty calls.” Seokmin says before shooting a finger gun at Hansol, sending Yuna into a peel of laughter as he heads for the swingset.

 

“I heard you two talking.” Her words are gentle and surprise Hansol, he turns to her but her eyes are still on the swings.

 

“You did?” Hansol asks.

 

Yuna laughs and nods, head turning to meet Hansol’s gaze. “Seokmin’s not a quiet person.”

 

Hansol snorts and relaxes with her beside him. Yuna’s always had a calming presence, not exactly a contrast from Seokmin, but rather something quietly soothing. The two together really brought out the best in each other.

 

“Do you know what Jisoo wants?” Yuna softly rests her chin on her palm while asking. The question had been on Hansol’s mind for long before she asked.

 

“He wants kids. I’ve known he’s wanted kids since you two had Jaemin, noona.” Hansol sighs and looks down at the grass beneath his feet. “He wants stability and consistency and a baby, and I’m scared. What if I’m not enough?”

 

“When I had Jae I was so scared.” Yuna says, so low Hansol has to lean towards her to hear. “I was never supposed to be that girl who got married because she was pregnant, you know?” Hansol, unsure what to say, nods her along.

 

“I had been in my job for, maybe a year and a half? Seokmin was just barely out of university. We had no idea what we were doing.” Yuna snorts into her palm, amused at the memory. “I lucked out, Seokmin’s an amazing father and we had so much help.”

 

“What if I don’t luck out? What if I just drown?” The panic’s back in Hansol’s throat, threatening to make its way out into his voice.

 

“Do you really think Jisoo would let you drown?” The question is rhetorical but Yuna pauses. On the playground Seokmin and Jaemin have moved under the main slide, sitting crosslegged and trading rocks.

 

“That’s the thing Hansol, it’s so much better that you’re scared. It means you care.”

 

* * *

 

To → Jihoon hyung

Sent: 2:23 am

hyung why exactly don’t you want kids, I need to know for science

 

To → hansol

Sent: 2:25 am

hansol what the fuck it’s two in the morning

 

To → hansol

Sent: 2:26 am

this is exactly why I don’t want to have kids

 

* * *

 

“Uncle Jisoo!” A tiny voice shouts behind Joshua, followed quickly by a little girl in a party dress wrapping herself around his leg.

 

“Is that my Yena?” Josh kneels down to her height and brushes her bangs out of her eyes. She smiles and nods before getting pulled into a hug.

 

“She missed you.” Jeonghan calls from the doorway, “She’s been begging to wear that dress for weeks.”

 

“Well it’s a very pretty dress Yena, did you pick it out yourself?” Joshua asks, standing back up and dusting his dress pants.

 

“Yeah! Appa let me!” she announces gleefully, attaching herself to Jeonghan’s leg. He takes this as a cue to hoist her onto his hip.

 

“Are you going to be a good flower girl for Uncle Jisoo and Uncle Hansol’s wedding, Yena-ya?” Jeonghan asks his daughter sweetly.

 

“Yes!” Yena all but hollers into Jeonghan’s ear, he only flinches a little before planting a kiss on her cheek.

 

“You have very important job today Yena, Uncle Hansol and I are counting on you.” Josh smiles and Yena clings harder onto Jeonghan’s suit jacket.

 

“I’m gonna go find Seungcheol so he can take her outside until the ceremony starts. We don’t want any meltdowns today now do we baby?” Yena exaggeratedly shakes her head before Jeonghan turns towards the door.

 

“Speak of the devil,” Jeonghan jokes. Yena bursts into a joyful yell of “Appa!” at the sight of Seungcheol in the doorway.

 

“Hi baby.” Seungcheol says before taking Yena from Jeonghan’s arms and promptly lifting her over his head. She giggles and shrieks until she’s solidly held in Seungcheol’s arms.

 

“How are things going in Hansol’s room?” Jeonghan asks while re-adjusting his jacket, now free from Yena’s grasp.

 

“Really good,” Seungcheol replies, his eyes subtly darting back towards the door behind him. “I was actually thinking that – maybe – they could get some time alone before the show starts.”

 

And suddenly Hansol is there, leaning up against the door frame, and Joshua’s heart stops. Hansol, who is almost permanently disheveled and ruffled is now _crisp_ and _together_ and blushing more than Joshua has ever seen before.

 

“Hi,” is about all Josh can muster before Seungcheol and Jeonghan give each other a look and silently decide to leave. “Bye!” Yena waves from Seungcheol’s shoulder.

 

“Bye, sweetheart,” Joshua says absent mindedly before locking eyes with Hansol. “You look…”

 

Hansol’s blush creeps up to his ears as he looks down at his shoes “You too.”

 

“I’m not going to cry yet.” Josh takes a big breath in to regain a little control, “I’m not. I’m just really happy, Hansol.”

 

Hansol smiles at that, his big goofy, cheesy, grin. He walks the length of the room before taking Joshua’s hand in his and meeting his eyes again.

 

“Thanks for waiting for me, Jisoo.”

**Author's Note:**

> for context yena is three in the last scene! title from near/far by death cab for cutie.
> 
> thanks for reading! as usual you can find me on twitter (@kneedeepsnow) or on curiouscat (fairytalename).
> 
> also I have 1 million thoughts about yuna and seokmin in this so please feel free to talk to me about that!


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